Posts Tagged ‘life savings’

The Horror. The Horror.

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

In March 2005 I quit my well-paying job in Japan and stepped into the unknown. I’d never really been there before. Trekking in the jungles of Papua New Guinea was the closest, perhaps. I believed I could make a go of an ESL materials website and support my family. I wholeheartedly, and even wholer-naively, believed there to be gold in them there online lessons. All I had to do was make lots of them and tell thousands of people. Easy!

Making and taking the decision to risk the family life savings, the house and the little blue scooter on a bright idea was the craziest and most irresponsible thing I’ve ever done. By far.

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
Robert F. Kennedy

He who dares, wins.
SAS Motto

You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
Will Rogers

You have to risk going too far to discover just how far you can really go.
T.S. Eliot

I woke up on the first morning of my new life as a budding webtrepreneur feeling exhilarated. I had followed my heart. My head was fuelled by motivational quotes that became mantras for my bold voyage into cyber-success.

The fuel ran out pretty quickly. Life soon spluttered into a hope-guzzling nightmare. Within a few short months I was to clutch ever more desperately at these inspiring words, willing them with all my all to be truer.

Real life crashed on top of me with a harsh and horrible reality. No… harsh and horrible would have been very nice in comparison to the crushing, soul-terrifying realization that I had steered my family into a horror story

Our savings were vanishing fast, even though we were redefining austerity to new thrift-defying levels. My site was earning us 26 cents a day.

The horror. The horror.
Joseph Conrad – ‘The Heart of Darkness’

That’s where I arrived six months after quitting my job. Chilling anxiety hounded my every waking thought. Nightmares of my children’s future destroyed because Daddy couldn’t pay the school fees tormented my sleep. Every day. Every night. No respite. I couldn’t question why life was being so cruel because it had been my decision to risk everything we had.

You got a dream… You gotta protect it. People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.
Will Smith in ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’

With enough to survive on for another few months, I wondered how I would pay for my $180,000 housing loan, the kids’ education, food. I became haunted by self-recrimination. Years later, I saw the movie ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’. Will Smith’s character so reminded me of the horrors, my horrors, of 2005.

I desperately went in search of work. A daunting task in a Japanese valley with no language schools or universities. Particularly difficult in a biting recession. My options and my future looked bleak.

Then suddenly, perhaps while on my little blue scooter trundling along through the rice fields (not quite sure), another bright idea popped up. It was another risky one. Again, I prepared myself to break my new plan to my wife. Again, she trusted and supported me.

And this time the two risks together proved to be worth taking and will be elaborated on in the final part of my introductory posts.

Moral of this story – Two big risks are better than one if you have a bee in your bonnet and a bright idea under it.

Life Savings, Bright Ideas, and Milk

Saturday, December 5th, 2009

And I was so tempted to call this “My Second Ever Blog Post”.

So, where do bright ideas come from and are they always so bright? I had one back in mid-2004 as I was riding my little blue scooter home from the train station after work, through the greener-than-verdant rice paddies to my home in a perfectly idyllic Japanese valley.

Riding little blue scooters though Japanese rice paddies is a perfect setting for the stimulation of bright ideas and I thoroughly recommend it.

Anyway, there I was, as happy as anything, tootling along the narrow path where the wild boar ran free to scare the living daylights out of me and the frogs croaked happily (millions of them), when suddenly it hit me. A bright idea of gargantuan, life-changing dimensions.

Now… before I explain further, I must just add that tootling along said path through before-said rice paddies approaching before-that-said valley always made me feel I was going on holiday. I wasn’t. I was just going home. But every day, the little blue scooter journey filled me with wonderful and happy thoughts… and bright ideas. So that’s where a lot of my bright ideas came from.

But this one wasn’t just bright. It was so dazzling that I nearly ended up in a rice paddy as it obscured the sharp bend in the track ahead of me.

And here it is… was…

The whole grand, couldn’t-ever-fail-not-ever-not-in-a-million-years design appeared before me in a quarter of a split second. Everything was worked out even before I got to that bend, in something like this order:

  1. Become a millionaire.
  2. Start a website based on freshly breaking news stories for learners of English.
  3. Learn how to make a website before I start making one.
  4. Quit my quite well paying job to do it.
  5. Retire.
  6. That bend is getting mighty close – Don’t want to jeopardize the bright idea, do we? Easy does it.
  7. Trade the little blue scooter in for a Lamborghini.
  8. Hmmm… Money to buy stuff like food, pay for kids’ education… live, etc?
  9. Find out what html means.
  10. Aha! – Pour life savings into it. A fine investment it’ll be.
  11. Make a new news lesson every day.
  12. No one else does that.
  13. Keep the house in the idyllic valley, but buy the valley.
  14. Call it TeachEasy … dot com.
  15. What to tell the wife? (quit job… pouring of savings… go on a diet…)
  16. Aha! Yes… Become a millionaire.

And then I turned left, and with my heartwarming smile-inducing valley in full view ahead and the bright idea filling me with as much adrenalin as the beautiful landscape, I journeyed home to enbrighten the wife with my revelation.

She was cooking in the kitchen. It seemed the most logical place to do that.

Wife: “Had a good day, darling?”
Me: “Have I had a good day” HAVE – I – HAD – A – GOOD – DAY????
Wife: “OK, so what’s today’s idea?”
Me: explained story in full.
Wife: “We’ve run out of milk. Can you go and get some from the store?”

I was unperturbed, nay ecstatic. She didn’t flinch at the life savings part. She must have thought it was another one of those ideas I kept on having.

Back on to the little blue scooter and down the small track where the freshwater crabs walk sideways free, filled with thoughts of Lamborghinis and html and must, must, must not forget the milk.

Are bright ideas always so bright? Well this one varied between blacker-than-coal brightness to full-volume incandescence.

The life savings had a whoppingly huge part to play in this variety and will probably be the subject of My Fourth Ever Blog Post, titled, “What became of the little blue scooter?”

That really was her reply.